Date: 2008-03-28 11:10 Subject: Realistic dot-eyed horror boy film forthcoming Security: Public

Tintin film excitement reported in the Guardian. Extract:

' Spielberg said recently: "We want Tintin's adventures to have the reality of a live action film and yet Peter and I felt that shooting them in a traditional live action format would simply not honour the distinctive look of the characters and world that Hergé created. The idea is that the films will look neither like cartoons nor like computer-generated animation. We're making them look photo-realistic, the fibres of their clothing, the pores of their skin and each individual hair. They look exactly like real people - but real Hergé people." '

Sounds great!

You've all seen the Real Mario and Real Homer right?

Date: 2008-03-13 14:50 Subject: Me Vs. Them Security: Public

Can anyone recommend a web hosting company that isn't Fasthosts?

I've got disappearing emailitis - emails just days old simply flip off. Maybe they're being deleted by Doctor Strange, maybe they're made of gas, I don't know . And this is them, right:

"Dear Mr Cox,

The only explanation I can offer you Mr Cox is that if the emails are older than 90 days they get deleted off our systems. 

Emails do not just disappear nor do we delete customers emails."

and this is me, yeah:

Oh really?

Date: 2008-03-12 15:27 Subject: Je m'accuse news Security: Public

Mayor suspends himself for benefit fraud (BBC)

Date: 2007-08-17 14:37 Subject: Old phrase or saying Security: Public

Those old phrases or sayings are sometimes still quite relevant aren't they? Look before you leap, one man's goose is another man's gander, many a mickle makes a muckle and if you don't like planes superglue your hands to a revolving door.*

*- The last one is, I admit, rather new. However I intend to use it as a suffix to 'Well, you know what they say...' in all sorts of conversations from now on when giving advice on relationships, career issues, coping with grief and whether to buy a new tent off the internet or from a proper shop.

Date: 2007-08-17 10:29 Subject: Edwyn Collins Security: Public

Edwyn Collins interview in the Guardian.  He had a near-fatal stroke, MRSA, couldn't speak or walk - so this is great stuff, even if he's not 100% yet.

Date: 2007-08-09 15:38 Subject: Mountain out of a volehill Security: Public

I am rather inspired by the decision of the Spanish to burn up an entire field, in order to get rid some voles that live there. In our flat, we have a mouse. So I am going to smash a wall and wee on the carpet. 

I will only resort to arson if it becomes two mouses - one must have a sense of proportion.

Date: 2007-08-06 20:03 Subject: Twee pies f*ck off Security: Public

TWEE PIES! TWEE! PIES!

The glory of pie. The noble, rugged modest hero and cheerful but dry raconteur that is pie.

Turned into a twee spinachey vomit box.

Date: 2007-08-01 00:52 Subject: Five Word Speeches Are Fun Security: Public

The Webbys winners did five-word speeches. Here's a sample:

News
BBC News: Alan, we're thinking of you.

Newspaper
The Guardian: Please free Alan Johnston now.

Radio
BBC Radio 1: Free the archives.

See 'em all here.

["'Free Alan Johnston now. Hm, four words. Guardian have done 'Please free Alan Johnston now'. What if we do 'Go on, free Alan Johnston?'"

"But what about the archives??"

"Oh yeah!"

- and so Radio 1 wins my perverse respect...]

Date: 2007-07-20 13:33 Subject: "...many influential and political figures encouraged me to stand" Security: Public

Thanks to wardytron I have just read the funniest thing in years - the pointless DJ Mike Read being hilarious with affectedly casual self-regard and circus-act level imbecility. Oh - he's decided not to stand as a London Mayoral candidate, you see.

Sample quote: 

"I've spoken to lots of young kids in gangs or "crews" as they prefer to be known and most want to get out of a way of life that gives them nothing. Get in there ... understand their problems and give them access to sporting facilities and the chance to make music, act, dance and write. Get them integrated into society and to realise its value." 

Like the best daft comedy characters, Mike takes himself seriously. Bless him.


Mike Read - clown.

Date: 2007-07-10 18:16 Subject: Noise list Security: Public

Top 5 Virtually Untranscribable Vocal Noises in Music

1. Chkh-tkh-chk (and hgih) - Prince Buster, Al Capone etc.
2. Warweehwarwar - Julian Cope, Poppins
3. AAARGH! AAARGH! *cough*, *cough* - Mark E Smith, Oleano
4. Arghjbjgguh-gawghhh! The Clash, Right Profile
5. Brrrrrr (rolled). Chairman of the Board, BrrrrGive me just a little more time (and Dexy's Midnight Runners)

Date: 2007-07-05 22:51 Subject: House on Pooh Corner Security: Public

Forgot to say. I went to this Radio 4 recording of 'With Great Pleasure', and John Major is there choosing book extracts to be read by actors. And this made me cry. It's from the House on Pooh Corner, and Christopher Robin is growing up and doesn't know how to tell Pooh.

Read it slowly and it will break your heart.

------

Then, suddenly again, Christopher Robin, who was still
looking at the world with his chin in his hands, called out
"Pooh!"
"Yes?" said Pooh.
"When I'm--when-- Pooh!"
"Yes, Christopher Robin?"
"I'm not going to do Nothing any more."
"Never again?"
"Well, not so much. They don't let you."
Pooh waited for him to go on, but he was silent again.
"Yes, Christopher Robin?" said Pooh helpfully.
"Pooh, when I'm--you know--when I'm not doing Nothing, will you come up here sometimes?"
"Just Me?"
"Yes, Pooh."
"Will you be here too?"
"Yes, Pooh, I will be really. I promise I will be,
Pooh."
"That's good," said Pooh.
"Pooh, promise you won't forget about me, ever. Not
even when I'm a hundred."
Pooh thought for a little.
"How old shall I be then?"
"Ninety-nine."
Pooh nodded.
"I promise," he said.
Still with his eyes on the world Christopher Robin put
out a hand and felt for Pooh's paw.
"Pooh," said Christopher Robin earnestly, "if I--if I'm
not quite" he stopped and tried again --". Pooh, whatever
happens, you will understand, won't you?"
"Understand what?"
"Oh, nothing." He laughed and jumped to his feet. "Come
on!"
"Where?" said Pooh.
"Anywhere," said Christopher Robin.

Date: 2007-07-05 16:32 Subject: Etiquette Security: Public

I don't have my etiquette book on me, but - correct me if I'm wrong - when farting inside the reprographics room when you thought you were alone, upon seeing the other person who smiles and says 'Hello Chris', the correct thing to do is apologise quickly, say 'This printer drives me mad!' and storm out. That's roughly it. I'm sure.

Date: 2007-07-03 17:23 Subject: An 'is it me?' type thingie, followed by the weather Security: Public

Is it me, or is the BBC massive publicity campaign about Alan Johnston a bit weird? I mean, this is special treatment isn't it? They didn't do this for John McCarthy, also a journalist. But because he's BBC they (presumably) spend a lot of money on this campaign, including massive billboards in London, which will help by...er...maintaining awareness, yes. Obviously I want him to be released, but I'm just not sure this is ethical. However, it looks like no-one is questioning it, so maybe that counts as a silent endorsement from all license payers.

On another subject, the apocalypse has evidently arrived over the Whitehall/Westminster area, in the form of a gobsmackingly enourmous creeping black cloud, swirly rain and big bolts of blue lightning. Tsk.

Date: 2007-06-29 15:28 Subject: Black Francis Security: Public

I've just written this review for our staff mag, and thought youse guys should know of this song and it's immense immenseness...

Threshold Apprehension by Black Francis

I've been asking loads of people since this was released a couple of weeks ago: "Do you like the Pixies?" The Pixies were the US band that Nirvana were inspired by (ie copied) when creating the 'quiet, loud, quiet' sound that dominated their enormous breakthrough album 'Nevermind'. Anyway, to me the Pixies were not only first, but better. Sadly they split up in the early 90's and a recent attempt to reform has stalled. This is perhaps why their genius frontman, (who calls himself either Frank Black or Black Francis, depending on his mood), has put out this single. 'Threshold Apprehension' is the Pixies. Just without the other members of the band. It rocks mightily and is a real singalong number, so long as you count shrieking the word 'threshold' over and over again as 'singing'. Pixies fans will love it, others will run and hide. It's download only, available on iTunes and eMusic.

Date: 2007-06-24 13:13 Subject: Peetha-gora-suhwitch-i! Security: Public

Dear Honda ad, Heath Robinson contraptions, Sesame Street pinball animation, Mousetrap...how do you feel in the cocked hat you've been knocked into by Japanese kids show Pythagora Switch?

Date: 2007-06-14 09:48 Subject: Icke musing Security: Public

I've just been reading the papers, noticed that a very elderly member of the Rothschild family has died and remembered that they are one of that lot who are supposed to be shape-shifting lizards according to David Icke.

Then I suddenly realised just how wrong he is - if they, and the Royal Family etc. etc., are genuinely shape-shifting aliens that is, in fact, immensely cool. And not really threatening. The idea that we have been visited by aliens who are basking in wealth due to their alien lizard skillz is really thrilling and great - and why on earth would I mind? I've got somewhere to live, nice food and a computer. Lizards wearing huge amounts of gold around the place is a really exciting idea. Wow!

Maybe Icke could have a children's programme where reads from a big colourful book to a group of kids all gathered round, telling them about the lizards, and maybe some new ones like - I dunnno - eagle-men or rabbit-turtles from the moon that *actually live amongst us* operating fork-lift trucks or selling small enamel badges.

Date: 2007-06-04 23:11 Subject: (no subject) Security: Public

Dear Sir

Please find attached my submission for the 2012 London Olympics logo.

Even though you are the commissioning board for the London Olympics logo, I would be delighted for you to send me another idea for the logo in lieu of your normal reply.

Yours faithfully

David Suchet

( ++ Attachment )

Date: 2007-04-11 11:32 Subject: Stop scrolling! Security: Public Music: Magnus Moriarty, Making the train land

Do you want to feel better, even if you currently feel fine? I have some splendid music for you. From Norway, good heavens!

Go to Magnus Moriarty's MySpace page, sit back, listen to 'Making the train land', feel wonderful. Rpt. It is flipping sublime.

Date: 2007-04-10 20:04 Subject: GOOD FOR KIDS MAKE BELIEVE Security: Public

Many thanks to m'friend Richard for this eBayed item, truly a portal into an amazing fantasy world that will delight children and adults alike.